Evil Barbies
by NIchiki
Summary: Inuyasha never thought he'd be jealous of a towel but stranger things have happened.


Evil Barbies

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or the song Barbie Girl. I am purely using both for my perverse pleasure. (I have a feeling Inuyasha would kill me XD)

'Thoughts'  
**Song**  
"Speech"

**Hi Barbie!  
Hi Ken!**

'The fuck?!'

**Wanna go for a ride?  
Sure Ken!  
Jump in!**

A startled hanyou clutched onto the windowsill, his claws piercing the wood splintering it, in an attempt to not acquaint his face with the pavement two floors below him. The two white fuzzy triangles flattened against his skull in reaction to the blasting music blaring from the open bathroom door.

**I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation.**

'What the hell is that wench listening to...my ears are going to be ringing for days! wait... What's a Baarr-bee?'

**Come on Barbie, let's go party!**

Leaning in a bit and swiveling his ears to catch the words to the song, his eyes popped open wide when he saw Kagome in only a little blue towel, that should not have been able to wrap completely around her, dancing around her bathroom and…singing into a brush?

**I'm a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly**

Snorting, Inuyasha squeezed his eyes closed and bit his lip trying to stifle the laughter bubbling up in his chest. Managing to get his chuckles under wraps, he opened his eyes and almost succeeded in swallowing his tongue.

Tilting his head to the side, looking more like a dog at that moment than ever before, he considered her form.

There was Kagome, still slightly swaying though he didn't know how at that angle, bending over and resting her foot on the edge of the bath tub rubbing lotion along her long legs. Inuyasha gulped at the sight, wondering if it was possible to die from drowning in your own drool. Oh but what a way to go.

'Ok breath. Breath deeply in out in and out… and shit I can smell the lotion from here mixed with her scent. Not helping!'

Groaning as the intoxicating scent of her filled his senses, the blood rushing south, pooling in his lower belly making little tetsusaiga twitch in interest. Letting out a slight yelp, his grip slipped for an instant when he caught sight of Kagome's towel riding up dangerously higher as she worked the lotion into her skin. The towel moved with her motions leaving the supple flesh of her upper thighs exposed to his hungry gaze, his eyes darting from her lovely pale skin to her barely covered hips. An almost inaudible whine left his throat which had been thankfully drowned out from the loud music, remembering those same thighs clenched around his waist while running with her on his back. His gaze glued to the motions of her hands almost hypnotized with the movement; slowly moving to her knees, the ones that looked so knobby when they had first started out but now they fit with her slender body; he watched, biting his lip to stifle the noises he so desperately wanted to make as her slender fingers danced along her skin to her tiny ankles. The tiny circular motions making him dizzy, a hazy fog clouding his mind, his eyes going unfocused.

**You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky.**

**You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"**

'Mine?!'

Inuyasha choked as the words pierced through the foggy haze in his mind, his eyes snapped back to Kagome, disappointed that he had missed her giving the second leg the same treatment. Straightening her body he watched as she gazed at her image in the somewhat foggy mirror. Twisting this way and that, her brows were furrowing in thought, almost as if she were studying her body. Much like he does, discreetly of course, throughout the day. What's not to like about it? He had watched her grow from a slightly unsure teenager into a full blown woman and he still couldn't get over just how lovely she had turned out. Almost 3 years had gone by and it seemed like one day the veil had been pulled from his eyes. She had matured into such a stunning creature overnight, one that haunted his dreams at night and clouded his vision during the day. A dangerous combination if you asked him. He had to be alert, able to detect incoming threats and yet this lovely thing in front of him drove him to distraction.

His jaw dropped open as he spotted her hands briefly touching the slight swell of her breasts above her towel, briefly lighting on the toned tummy he knew was hidden from him, dancing across to her full hips stopping at the very edge of the tiny towel, fingers playing with the ends. Teasing him, taunting him, wishing he could just reach out and slice the offending material away from what he desired to feast his eyes on...

**Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ah-ah-ah-yeah  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
uu-oooh-u**

Leaning in perilously further, his gaze dragged up and down her barely covered form and he could almost feel his heartbeat in his ears. Inuyasha's amber eyes clouded over. His mind ran wild, the song almost fading completely to the background now, picturing what was underneath that little scrap of cloth, wishing for it to suddenly fray at the seams. Not like he hadn't "accidentally" caught Kagome in the buff before while bathing in the feudal era, but this was different. She had never moved like this before. Seduction was never something he figured she could do, being such a klutz at everything she did but here she was not really doing anything at all and yet she had him to his knees, panting like the dog he was, begging for some release.

'Shit If she catches me I'm screwed...into the ground... again. I don't know how many more sits I can take before I'm a permanently a part of the ground.'

**Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees**

Inuyasha tried to will his legs to move, his fingers to let go. His brain to work dammit. But the pull of her body and scent were just too strong to overcome. His body betraying his mind, she called to him in the most primal way, and his answered in kind. He tensed, determined to not slide off the ledge he was perched on and join her, his inner demon growled at him annoyed he was being kept from the one he craved with a passion. She was calling out to him and he needed her touch. Desperately he dug his claws deeper into the wood.

'Dammit, I need to leave. Cause if I don't I wont be leaving anytime soon, and she isn't ready for this, at least not yet.'

Spotting Kagome as she bent down to pick up her discarded clothes, his eyes snapped open wide, his breath came in pants, as the bottom of the towel slips further up on the back of her thighs.

'Just a little more...higher...higher yeah that's it... No! Lower...Must resist...temptation. Gah!'

**Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,  
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party**

'Why can't I look away? Someone save me… Souta...Grandpa...Hell, I'd even take Hobo at this point.'

**You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours."**

Inuyasha swallowed thickly, as Kagome turned, pulling her brush through her long luscious locks, still singing and swinging her hips to the song as she made her way into her bedroom blissfully unaware of her captivated audience. Whimpering slightly, knowing that this was going to end badly; there was no way he was coming out of this alive, or in one piece.

**Oh, I'm having so much fun!**

'Yeah well I sure as hell ain't,' he retorted as he mentally ran his hands down his face.

'Torture. This is pure torture.'

Kagome strolled closer and closer, making Inuyasha cringe and turn his head away not wanting to see her rage filled eyes, determined to face the consequences like a man and savoring the images of her dancing through his mind. Hey if he was going out he would go out his way, happy...and embracing his perverse thoughts.

**Well Barbie, we're just getting started.**

Time seemed to slow down to a crawl, making him peek out of the corner of his eye. And then two things seemed to happen simultaneously.

Kagome in the middle of brushing her hair back was about to lift her gaze to the window when a sudden white missile obscured his vision confusing him for a second before he noticed the sky was before his eyes.

'That's weird. Wasn't I just facing...?'

Stars exploded in front of his eyes as the ground met the back of his skull, making him wonder if he did indeed become a part of the ground.

'Well that's gonna leave a mark' Groaning, he pushed himself to his elbows.

His amber eyes focused on the gap he had just occupied, rubbing the sore spot at the back of his head, spying the offending white projectile that had dislodged him, currently licking her paws and surveying her favorite sunning perch she just managed to swipe back. Rather violently he might add. Now he knew why dogs hated felines so much.

'Why you fat little...'

Suddenly a dark haired blue eyed beauty appeared above the contented cat (whom he would swear was watching him with a slight smirk). 'Keep it up you smug furball, I'm not above chasing you around the next time Kagome's not home,' he vowed mentally.

"Inuyasha! I'm not ready to go back, and… What are you doing on the ground like that?" Kagome inquired, confusion clouding her features, her brows lifting to her hairline as she leaned further out to view his inelegantly sprawled body on the ground.

Desperately pressing her lips together to prevent a smirk she tried to suppress her giggles. She knew he would be a sulking mess for at least a week if he caught her laughing at him. But she just couldn't help it as the next words slipped out of her mouth.

"Did you...did you fall out of my window?"

Glaring back up at the scheming fat feline, contemplating using his claws next time he "played" with her, his eyes darting to the blue ones shining with mirth at his predicament opening his mouth about to deliver a stinging retort and then promptly stopped noticing that she had yet to put on any clothes and the towel had slipped dangerously lower. The very tops of her bouncy globes threatening to spill out and little tetsusaiga gave a hard lurch at the sight springing him into action before she saw he predicament.

**Oh, I love you Ken!**

Scrambling to his feet with a very visible blush across his face and a loud scoff, he bounded back to the well house and out the other side to the safety of the god tree branches. Swearing under is breath, finding moving fast was very uncomfortable and highly embarrassing if someone should catch him now. Subtly adjusting his tight hakama around him, shoving his arms into the sleeves of his haori and closing his eyes with a grunt he replayed the highly enticing scene...errr catastrophe that he had just managed to dodge. Images of a dancing Kagome filtered through his mind, making him shake his head as if that would dislodge said pictures. Images he knew the perverted monk would give both of his hands for, well maybe only one, he had to have one left after all.

'Damn, even a fall from that height wouldn't knock those thoughts out of my mind, I see many more trips to cold creeks in my future. Or perhaps more scouting trips on my own would be better,' his inner demon purring at the thought of replaying the lovely images of his intended again and again. Scoffing and thinking that's just what he needed a pervert inside his mind, taunting him. Growling, thinking about how all this mess started...

"Baarr-bees are evil!"

The yell ripped through the air, startling a flock of birds nearby and a small fox demon. Shippo scrambled back the other way thinking twice about sneaking up on the fuming hanyou. Apparently Inuyasha had finally lost it as Kagome had said many a times before. Confusion followed the fox as he scurried back to the safety of Kaede's hut.

'What's a Baarr-bee?'


End file.
